I always have this soft spot for him.
He was always kind to me. Always. Always. Always.
I still remember when I was 17, er, was it when I was 18, eh, was it like 19 years old (wayyyy, long time ago!), I was either in my Matrix years, or was it while waiting for my SPM results, ooh gosh, couldn't remember! obviously, age is catching up - oh well back to the topic, I was invited to his house. They, the uncle and his wife lived just by the two of them.
Being a quietly-timid-rebellious teenager, and having survived 12 hard-headed siblings, I suddenly found myself in an all-too-much-attention-given-and-too-quiet-surrounding! I mean, they both tried VERY hard to please me.
He worked the normal office hours, and he was attached to the Police Force and she stayed at home. So, in the morning I only woke up as he was leaving for work. I could smell that familiar musky scent he always put on, so I asked him what it was. I was somewhat at that particular moment of my life, I wasn't much exposed to the 'luxuries' of lives i.e expensive perfumes, etc.
I liked that smell, I did. So I asked him, how much? He told me it was around RM 10. I thought to myself - wow! RM10! Just that for a wonderful scent. I asked him further, could I have one for myself please (not knowing that 'it' was meant for MEN! how silly! dang!).
He gently, and sweetly asked, you like it?
Yea.
Well, I got it in Ipoh. It would take us about half and hour to an hour to get there. And it's a waste of time to go to Ipoh JUST to get this thing. Don't worry, I'll get one for you the next time I go there. You can have mine first if you want.
Really? But you don't have extra for yourself?
Yeah, that's alright. I'll buy another next time.
Oo..
Silence.
I thought, how could I take his..
naaa, that's ok. Next time then.
Sure?
Yea.
We'll go to Ipoh next time.
...................
We then had breakfast and he left for work.
I really didn't have anything to do there, swept the floor and helped the wife in the kitchen. She taught me the correct way of 'squeezing' fresh dessicated coconut to get its milk - ha ha ha, I've come far from that now!
He'd come back for lunch and off for work again. In the evening, he'd take me around the Tanjung Rambutan (that's where he lived then) town, and introduced all his friends to me, and even shared with me the place and the story where and when he met his wife! He took me to his in-laws house, and that's where I met a few fellas with 'hair-gone-bad-cases'. I saw these 2 girls, of about my age with VERY BLONDE hair!
I mean, aiseh, at that age, and having no exposure to Mak/Mat salleh except via the TV, and to actually SEE 2 MALAY girls with horrible looking hair, with odd colour was NOT something that I get to see everyday!
I wanted to talk to them, but I guessed we were all kinda shy - I was curious about their hair , er, I wanna that too!!! hahahahaha...
And they must be freaking embarrassed ( I think laa..) to explain to his-side-of-the-family about their hair..
So, we ended up having eye-contacts only and that was IT!
We left after dinner. Even my aunt couldn't explain why when I asked her.
The next day, he took me to a river some where, really couldn't remember. But he took me places. It was kinda vague for me now, but one thing very crystal clear, was how KIND he was to me, talked and explained to me about things in his life. I didn't really understand life much at that time, especially his life, but I know til now that he tried hard to please people he cared in his life. He loved the people in his life very much.
His wife did that too. From her perspective of course. From a lady to another young-naive lady, ah well, I was lost. Some parts I understood, others left me like winds.
I left after 3 days or was it a week? Couldn't remember. He told me to come again. Which I did once after I got married, and once again during Hari Raya with my first born. After that I was too caught up with my life, I just couldn't do that anymore.
I met him every now and then, during weddings and funerals. Especially weddings and kenduris. He always asked about me, updating my progress, and inviting me again, I sheeepishly timidly shyly said yes, but unsure when I could actually do that.
There was this one time he called me up and talked to me, and again invited me over. The same guilty feeling came over me. And again, I gave him the same answer. Sigh.
Last Saturday, I finally managed to fulfill his invitation. The last one for him.
Yeah, that guilty feeling was a little bit overwhelming. I was finally there. Finally. After so many years, it was always him making the effort to keep the connection between the two of us, even in his death.
To pay that last respect to him, I told myself not to cry as I do BELIEVE that he is very much welcomed to the other side. Besides, it's the HOLY month of Ramadhan, only the special ones get to be buried in this special month, only the ones Allah loves dearly.
I looked at his face 2 wonderful times, one time at the mosque, another just before they buried him. He looked very peaceful, as if he was still alive, as if he was just sleeping there. Calm and resting.
As I looked, I whispered, Assalamualaika ya Pakcik Aziz, Farah came to visit you, finally. Selamat sejahtera lah engkau di sana, insyallah. Selamat sejahteralah engkau di sana. Insyallah, saya dan lain pun akan datang menyusul. Insyallah. Thank you for always being so kind.
I knew he listened, as he always did, it's just that he couldn't reply. It's fine with me. From now on, it'll be my turn. My effort to keep in touch. My doa. My doa to him, insyallah.
Al-fatihah to my beloved favourite Uncle -Pakcik Aziz as he was fondly called - or Kamarudin his official name, passed away peacefully last Saturday morning 5th of September 2009 / 15th Ramadah 1430.
Al-fatihah.
There you go. As you can see here, that's myself and my hubby and Opick at the end of the concert last nite.
